Happy New Year! I'm two weeks late but I would like to
believe that it still feels like a brand new year with a clean slate and you
haven't done anything to make you say “Come Duze 2015" already. If you have, you
might want to forgive yourself because the year still has a long way to go.
With a New Year come New
Year resolutions (read: false promises) and many other things that people
decide they are going to start doing. Popular ones are starting gym,
eating better, drinking less alcohol or smoking (or both, good luck!). Besides
moderating and editing your lifestyle, some things just need to be completely left
behind, to be placed on the side of the road and left to rot.
1. Fake smiles
Don't smile at me if you
don't want to, there are many other things that need your energy so don't waste
your joules on me. It’s only irritating when I see it was a fake smile,
and you only force me to reciprocate your behaviour. Stop it.
2. Buzzing
Its either you have
airtime, or you don't. Don't 'miss call' people, I thought we left that
in 1999 even. If you're still doing this, you might want to catch up and
buy more than just R5 airtime. This one goes out to me.
3. Small talk
I can’t. If you're
going to start a conversation that will only have a string of questions like
'what are you doing", "with who", save your data. Small
talk hurts my feelings and so do boys and my degree, so one at a time please. If ur gna use shorthand, nd type lyk dis- u r evn wrse! Leave me alone.
4. Favours (endless
ones)
Don't be the kind of
person that keeps inconveniencing everyone around them. If you don't have
money to go out, stay in, if you don't have airtime to call, read a book, if
you don't have transport to work, take a bus, if you don't have money for your
hair, grab some dish washing liquid. Just don’t be known for endless favours. People
get annoyed and by people I mean me.
5. Crushes
Those things are just
annoying and they don't log onto Whatsapp often enough so their Last Seen 16:08
when it’s now 16:22 is depressing. It just makes you feel like he’s out
there with someone else while you're on the couch zooming into his picture
singing "I wonder wheeeere you got those eyes..."
I hope you read my blogs. #HeyBoo
6. Facebook friend requests (especially if I don't
know you)
I think a lot of us have
had Facebook for more than 5 years now, or should I
speak for myself? Either way, it’s been a long time, so to receive a friend
request when we only have THREE mutual friends out of a whopping 500+? No. Log out.
7. Nudes
Haha! Sorry guys. And to the girls- phones
get lost and weird people in taxis, public toilets, bus stops, lecture halls
and everywhere else imaginable will pick it up and think it’s funny to tweet
your nude. You’re very hot and everything but that Domestos photo bombing hey... Sigh. Which reminds me of the next point…
8. Judging
Stay in your lane. Who
asked you anyway; leave other kids to live their lives. So she had a few
drinks, so he has a new girlfriend, again. Wait, her again? Anyway, so
they go out every Thursday and Friday. And Saturday and Sunday. So what they
send nudes. They can. Allow.
9. Colour blocking
No? Okay.
10. Having a bad
day, all day
Having a bad day should
not last the whole day; you just miss out on other things
because you are too grouchy to laugh with other people. Have a bad day when you
must, like after burning your favourite blouse or finding out you’re out of
data bundles, then move on because before you know it, your face is sagging because
you're always so grumpy.
Smile! But not if it’s fake.
Put on your dancing shoes
and play:
Happy- Pharrell Williams
Talk soon, I promise!
Ntsa
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