Beneath your perfect

To call or not to call.

To text or not to text.

That is THE question.  Forget the rest.  This is the ultimate question.

You’ve met somebody new, yay you! Congratulations. The problem is you're still putting up this major act where you pretend you don’t miss them and that you haven’t calculated how long until you get to see them again.  You are also not quite at the part of the game where you can text them first without the fear of appearing weaker and vulnerable.  You'd like to seem like you are leading a busy life, and that you were out last night having drinks with friends, when in fact you were in bed with a book (that you’ve just started, you're not even hooked on it yet, that’s how bored you were.). *checks phone for missed calls*

Calling and texting is an entire science on its own, it should be offered at university level.  I mean, is it just me or does everyone else also have this divine fear of calling someone at the wrong time, and hence rolling down a few notches on the Cool Scale? *checks if there's signal*

I just read “Dignity is that thing you lose when you text someone for the second time before they have replied to the first”.  My head could have fallen off my shoulders if I had nodded any harder in agreement.  Meeting someone new is pretty stressful when it comes to this sort of thing, but once you’ve known them for a week or fifty, it becomes easier to send them a “Reply damnit!!!” message, without having a seminar in your head on whether three exclamation marks are too much. *restarts phone*

So in the meantime we wear our masks and pretend that that person is not camping in our minds because we can't think of anything else.  And then your phone finally rings and your life turns into a musical. You break out in dance before answering the phone (after a well calculated amount of rings) in your rehearsed oh-its-you-I-don’t-care-anyway-and-I'm not-wiggling-because-you-eventually-called-and-this-means-you-like-me-more voice. *places phone face down to avoid distraction*

A cousin of mine once said “be brave enough to be vulnerable…”.  The depth. 

Jump right out.  Let them see beneath your perfect.  Not everybody thinks they have more power just because you texted first.  But some do.  That doesn't quite help your situation now, does it?

Beneath your beautiful- Emeli Sande and Labrinth.  

Be brave.

*jumps out window*

Ntsa