The Blue Ticks

So there’s been a bit of an uproar over Whatsapps new feature.  The Blue Ticks (insert whatever dramatic music suits you here).  People are concerned about their privacy, and the funniest of speculations on the next upgrade are doing the rounds on Twitter.  In my cute little opinion, I don’t think it’s that much of a big deal.  So you’ve sent a message.  So it’s been delivered.  And ultimately, read.  Cool.  If you get a response, well good for you.  If you don’t, maybe then things will be a bit clear and you don’t have to ask all the questions Tamia in her jam “Questions”: “Ladies tell me what do you think it could be? Headache tired or cheating on me?”

Okay, personally I feel a bit punked because my Last Seen has been off for a few days now, and it is pretty much a useless function now.  Hahaha.  Not that it matters though.  I mean, if you are sending a message and they aren’t responding, there’s a range of reasons why that could be, but I think the reasons behind the reactions towards this new movement are that, A, people are now afraid they won’t be able to ignore messages in peace and will now face daily interrogations, or, B, they are scared that they will now know for sure if theyre being ignored.  I'll talk to both groups of people now.

Group A.  Wasup.  An ignored text is nothing new; you know when you’ve been given air.  The newly implemented blue ticks just get to give you clarity on what’s going on.  You’ve sent a few texts, they all get ignored… so how about you cease for a little while, because you’re talking to yourself.  Look, if you’ve upset them or something, you can keep messaging and pining for forgiveness and stuff, but if not, hey?  Surely that would be a good time to pick up your crutches and walk away.  You know.  Perhaps.  I think the ticks can facilitate self-love.  Know when you’re wanted, don’t bother if you’re not.  Don’t nag and don’t ask the eye-roll-inducing question “Are you ignoring me?”, because I can’t answer that question.  That's rude(ruder than just keeping quiet).  Firstly, because if I’m ignoring you, replying to that question is no longer ignoring, and secondly, if you have to ask- hmm.  So let’s all look on the bright side- the tick can indicate to you if you need to play some Sam Smith, have a throat burning drink and move along swiftly.  If it’s an emergency, you could actually dial the person’s number (yeah, people still do that) and make them aware.  But if that phone also rings until the white woman speaks…well…buddy…

Group B.  Yo. You’re the bunch of people now worried about openly being seen as Ignorers Of Messages.  Who cares?  If you cared, you wouldn’t ignore their messages in the first place.  Besides, you changing your display picture when you have a two day old message sitting in your Whatsapp is already pretty clear.  It’s just that the blue tick almost yells, “Yup.  Screw your message.”  You are allowed to reply to who(m)ever you want to, when you want to, and (almost) how you want to.  It is your data, and time spent in a Wi-Fi hotspot must rather be spent on downloading books rather than answering “Wud?” questions.

Let’s not ask one another awkward questions and send awkward punctuation marks when we don’t get responses.  Let the blue tick speak for (us) who sometimes can’t just say, “Dude.  Not right now.” 

I could go on forever. 

To another blue thing, making things hard for everyone…

Cheers!

Xx

Ntsa