EXperience

So you've broken up with him, and it’s been a couple of weeks. You don't need anybody to convince you that you did everything right in your relationship. You have decided to let it (and him) go- and to move on with your life.

You've gone through the ugly cry moments when you didn't even believe you had the ability to look that bad. You've played the "I'm so over you..." songs and jumped on your bed with a hairbrush in your hands, singing like it’s your day job. You've had the ex boyfriend beat up with your best friend where you had a blow by blow analysis on how he wasn't worth your time in any case. You've had the bitter Adele moments where every lyric seems to speak directly to you, and each word is almost a snip at your heart. You've ridden the wave; you’ve gone through the motions. You've felt what you needed to feel.

So you wake up one day and decide enough is enough, Kleenex is making way too much money from you. Its time to (really) move on.  Now thing is, you still have him on BBM and you follow him on twitter (insert dramatic sound track here). You even check, every now and then whether or not he's still following you. Oooh girl.

Your tweets are no longer just tweets. Your profile pics are no longer just profile pics. You have made it your mandate and life's purpose to show him what he has missed out on. He has to know that you're out with the girls looking hella phly. He has to know you're at church, finding the Lord. He has to know you're having so much fun at work- "growing and broadening your horizons". And most of all, he has to know that guys are making you LMAO.  Yes, those things could really be happening- just check with yourself whether or not you're doing it so that HE knows about it.

He seems to have moved the on. He does not seem in the least bit phased by your amazing life after him-and it’s annoying you. In fact, he may actually have a new girlfriend and you've barely gotten all the snot out your nose. So now there you are, accepting drinks and movie dates from every Tom, Dick (pun fully intended) and Harry.

There's no reason for you to be competive. If it so happens that you are afforded these opportunities and everyone wants you because you're on fire- make sure you're doing it for you and not to get back at your ex. Do you, in everything you do. If it means being alone for the next year, well so be it. This is not a race to the next relationship; it'll draw you thin and make you easily breakable.  Unfollow him if you can't help but "tweet for him". Delete him on bbm, ‘cause let's be honest- what are you really hoping will happen? It just raises the expectation that maybe one day he'll ping you, and realise what gold you are. Nah.

Give yourself a second to be an even better dime. Go to the gym, start writing again, do more at church, go shopping with your Mum- all those things you couldn't do previously because you were always chilling with him and missing out on the rest of your life. What he is now doing is not how you measure what you are, or how well you are doing. Quite frankly, it’s none of your business. Let him do his thing while you do yours, for yourself, by yourself. Don't compete.

Don't be that girl.

Or maybe everything is fine with you and I'm the only with ex boyfriend problems.  Hmm. Where's is that Dom Pedro?

Grab some tissue and listen to:

Erykah Badu- Bag Lady

Talk soon!

Ntsa