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Oh goodness.  I know I speak on behalf of a lot of girls with this one.  Brothers please take this advice, it will get you far.  Research has been done, trust us.  Do not, no matter what, be this guy. 

So there is this girl that you seriously like, in fact according to you, it's love, it's been written in the stars, and you don’t understand how she just doesn’t see it.  So what you have decided to do is convince her that you love her and will do whatever it takes.

Each morning, there you are, up at the crack of dawn, texting her ‘Good morning”, along with the corny teddy bears that bounce around.  You know what I’m talking about.  It doesn’t even bother you that she was last seen at 1am even though you texted her “Goodnight” at 11pm and she didn’t reply. She gets up, rolls her eyes and replied “Thanks u2.” Your heart MELTS. Eish.

You go on to wish her the loveliest of days and multiple blessings. It is cute, really it is.  Don’t get me wrong.  The problem is when you see the message marked “Read” and she doesn’t wish you well in return.  Not that you’re dismayed or anything, cause you check up on her in the evening to make sure she’s like, still breathing. Man.

Her phone flashes ‘one new message’ and she croaks as she sees your name show up (again) on her screen.  It’s not what she was expecting, in fact- the guy she is wishing was texting her hasn’t said a word in 3 days.  This is a problem too ladies, but that’s a discussion for another day.

She reads your message, she closes it and texts her best friend “Girl, this guy is so annoying!“.  She replies “Uya SMSa na manie?! Woo hayi.” Lol.  This isn’t fiction. It happens.  And no, this isn’t another case of ‘playing hard to get”.

Thing is, you do not know how to take a hint.  In fact, what is a hint? Can you eat it?  Instead you can invent many excuses as to why she hasn’t responded to any of your messages.  If you’re not sure whether or not I’m speaking to you, here’s a simple test.  We’ll call you Boy, and she can be Princess:

07:31 Boy: Morning beautiful. *flower*

08:56 –message read-

13:02 Boy: How is your day so far?

13:09 Princess: Good thanks.

13:11 Boy: That’s cool. What are you up to?

13:12 –message read-

13:26 Boy: Are you there?

13:36 –message read-

14:02 Boy: Princess?

17:22 Princess: Yeah.

23:18 Boy: Goodnight, sweet dreams.

23:18 –message read-

01:21 Princess: u2

Look familiar? If not, well done man.  You better not be lying to yourself.

If it does, brother, grab a seat. It’s not completely over for you.  You don’t need therapy, nor do you need to be admitted into a certain ward in a hospital.  All you need to do is, well, take a hint.

Quit hurting yourself, because she’s trying hard not to, that’s why she hasn’t told you to back off.  The writing is on the wall (or on Whatsapp).  A girl that is equally into you will reply with as much enthusiasm as you text, and she will do it timeously.  Alternatively, she will explain to you why she has taken 4 hours to reply to a message that required a second- because she will feel like she owes you an apology.

Get it together big boy.  It’s not nice, I know! But you really do not have to go through that, you deserve better.  Leave her alone, you’ll both be much happier at the end of the day (or end of the month for you). 

Love yourself.  

Delete her number and listen to:

Bon Jovi- Always

Bleed a little Romeo.  Its always darkest before dawn.

Talk soon!

Ntsa